Jan. 7, 2023
When a father abandons his kids
Over the years, I have presided over many marriage ceremonies. I expect both men and women to keep their vows (promises) they make to one another. Myself as the officiant Minister, witnesses, and most of all, Almighty God hear a man agree to this vow to his soon to be wife:
“Do you promise to love, provide, protect and care for the woman who stands by your side, forsaking all others, and to keep yourself only to her long as you both shall live?”
When the couple have children, a man becomes a “father.” The duty of a father is not only to provide for his children, but to teach his children to be respectful and honorable.
A father must teach his son how to treat a woman with respect. He also needs to teach his daughter to never accept a man who will abuse or take advantage of her when she begins to date.
Children need a full-time mother and full-time father in the early stages of their life. Anything less is robbing a child of love and care they should be getting from a mom and dad.
Unfortunately, some marriages fall apart. Fathers (and even mothers) have abandoned their minor children when this occurs. Abandoning a minor child can cause long-term emotional and psychological problems. Minor children robbed of attention, love, care and support from a parent is damaging to that child according to family psychologists.
When a “father” chases another woman at the expense of robbing his children of a loving/caring father, such men display despicable and selfish behavior. It is not only immoral for a father to abandon his minor children, it should be illegal to do so. The same goes for a mother who abandons her children to chase a man at the expense of robbing her minor children of love and attention her children deserve.
I’ve heard men who cannot make their marriage work say, “What about my happiness?” My response: “Once you bring children into this world, you have to put your happiness on hold and give attention to your minor children. They deserve happiness. You’ve had your fun. Man up and be a full-time dad your children deserve to have. They don’t deserve abandonment nor deserve to be robbed of love, attention and support from you their father.” (See 1 Timothy 5:8) The same goes for mothers.
To family and friends of a neglectful father or mother: Before you go congratulating a man or woman for getting another boyfriend/girlfriend at the expense of abandoning their minor children, think again. Don’t enable such behavior by congratulating them. Remind them of their God-given duties and responsibilities as a father or mother. Some have their priorities mixed up and need to be reminded not to kick their minor kids to the curb.
Before you Pastors, Ministers, Priests, Elders, Bishops, etc perform a marriage, find out if these men/women have small children and if they are being a full-time father or mother. If not, ask them why not. Don’t be guilty of enabling such individuals who have neglected their responsibility as a mom or dad in the name of “holy matrimony.” There’s nothing holy about a matrimony if you have a dad or mom abandoning their minor children.
Those who refuse to prioritize their responsibility will take offense to this article. Parents who ignore their priorities most likely will experience neglect from their children when they become adults. This is often due to children experiencing neglect from a father or mother in the early stages of their life.
If any father or mother disagrees with this article, I’d like to hear why you believe it’s ok to abandon your minor children during the early years of their life when they are small children.
I trust this article helps fathers and mothers understand why abandoning their children is never good nor has a good outcome. Give your children the best years of life while they are minors. After all, your small children didn’t do anything to deserve abandonment. (Proverbs 22:6)
You can follow Pastor David Vivas, Jr on his Facebook page at www.facebook.com/pastordavid.
World Harvest Int’l Church